Message-ID: <199804021741.SAA00737@salsa.gih.co.uk> Date: Thu, 2 Apr 1998 18:41:27 +0100 From: Olivier MJ Crepin-Leblond <mailto:ocl@GIH.COM> Subject: Re: Consortium announces launch of worldwide connectivity network To: mailto:DEVEL-L@AMERICAN.EDU
Hello,this is a follow-up on the announcement that a consortium called FISH-NET has launched a worldwide connectivity network:
APRIL FOOL'S !!!!
Yes, this was a complete bluff. Alas, there is no network called FISH-NET. Alas, there is still no possible connectivity from a lot of places around the world. And I did sprinkle the announcement with A LOT OF HINTS about its lack of authenticity.
FISH-NET IS PURE IMAGINATION
I sincerely hope that one day, something like FISH-NET will be available, and judging from the number of replies I've had asking for further information, it looks like a lot of you want this to happen as well !
But we'll unfortunately all have to wait until the projects such as IRIDIUM, TELEDESIC etc. come to completion, and hope that their use will not be cost-prohibitive.
I hope that I haven't annoyed anybody through that posting. It is a traditional thing that I've posted a "semi-serious" April Fool's message since 1993. Sorry to all of you who git caught-out, and "well done" to those who called it bluff (yes, I've also had a few people who called the bluff)
If it's too good to be true on April 1st, it's obviously a complete and utter lie...
Kind regards,
Olivier Crepin-Leblond (prankster galore on April 1st)
ps. for those who missed the original posting, it follows:
On Wed, 1 Apr 1998, Olivier MJ Crepin-Leblond wrote:
> Date: Wed, 1 Apr 1998 11:21:17 +0100
> From: Olivier MJ Crepin-Leblond <mailto:ocl@GIH.COM>
> To: mailto:DEVEL-L@AMERICAN.EDU
> Subject: Consortium announces launch of worldwide connectivity network (1998.04.01)
>
> Consortium announces launch of worldwide connectivity network
>
> LONDON, APRIL 1 - In a packed Press Conference auditorium,
> Dr. Klaus Santos announced today the launch of the first
> worldwide connectivity network named FISH-NET.
>
> "From today, it will be possible to connect to the Internet
> from anywhere on the planet", said Dr. Santos.
>
> The network of 1000 satellites covers the whole of the globe.
>
> The idea of a network of satellites was launched by competing
> consortiums but the Full Internet SHell (FISH) alliance
> managed to launch its satellites in record time to cover the
> whole planet. Internet connectivity is now available anywhere
> in the world, provided the right modem kit is purchased from
> FISH-NET.
>
> Amazingly, the connectivity kit costs less than US$100.
> "When we designed the service, a requirement was that it
> had to be low-cost for everybody to use. Now anybody can
> have connectivity to the rest of the world at speeds more
> than 30 times the rate of the current fastest modem",
> said Dr. Santos. "We cut our costs whenever we could".
>
> The consortium made use of amateur rocket societies to
> launch their suitcase-sized satellites into orbit instead
> of resorting to the commercial launchers. As a result, the
> total cost of putting 1000 satellites in orbit was
> equivalent to one conventional launch at Cape Canaveral.
> Dr. Klaus admitted "We had a few failed launches but
> on the whole, the launching operation went smoothly and
> we were therefore operational in six months".
>
> Mr. John Herring, of the Amateur Rocket Society of
> Great Britain (ARS-GB), also present at the press
> conference added "We amateurs are a new force in the
> international launch of satellites. Through our thousands
> of members we are able to manufacture twice as many
> rockets as all commercial launchers put together. Our
> low-cost launch vehicle designs impressed the FISH-NET
> consortium, and we netted the contract through agressive
> bidding".
> "Watch out", Mr. Herring warned, "if you thought that
> the Mars Pathfinder mission was impressive, stay tuned to
> ARS-GB, and you'll be impressed".
>
> News of the launch of FISH-NET have spread quickly around
> the globe. Dr. Ibrahim Al-Samaek, of Addis Ababa in Ethiopia
> welcomed the launch as being the biggest step in
> economic development for his country in the last twenty
> years. "We have had major problems with reliable Internet
> connectivity in the past, and this is the first time that
> we can surf the Web from anywhere else than the capital.
> I expect Internet Web-Cafes to open here soon".
>
> Mr. Poisson, grandson of the well known scientist said
> from his home in Paris, France "We are finally reaching
> the stage of true Telecommunication de-regulation.
> Yesterday's European telecom monopolies are truly dead
> and gone, This is the final nail in their coffin".
>
> By using a smuggled transmitting station, Kim Sung Park
> of North Korea sent his first E-mail to the outside
> world "This is great news for democracy; censorship of
> information is now a thing of the past".
>
> A group of surfer-buddies, having made the trip from the
> US to London specially for the announcement, were
> enthusiastic about the News.
> Larry, Len, Vint, Daniel, "JCRL", David, Barry, Bob,
> Ray and Jon remember the days of ARPANET. "FISH-NET is
> a gigantic step towards JC's Galactic Network Concept.
> It's way-cool".
>
> Throughout the day, tributes have been pouring in to
> the FISH-NET headquarters for their efficiency and
> sensible pricing. Plans are in fact in the works to
> provide free connectivity to some of the most remote
> places on Earth.
>
> "We would have never been able to do this without the
> help of the Internet community. There are thousands of
> these people world-wide, who do their little bit into
> getting the Internet to work at the lowest possible cost.
> Now it's our time to reward these heroes. They were the
> pioneers, we're the cavalry, and the cavalry is never late",
> concluded Dr. Santos.
>
>
> Olivier C-L, reporting from London, UK.
>
> --
> Olivier MJ Crepin-Leblond, Ph.D. |----> Global Information Highway Limited
> Phone: +44 (0)956 84 1113 | Always 60 seconds | E-mail: <mailto:ocl@gih.com>
> Fax : +44 (0)171 937 7666 | ahead of the past | Web: http://www.gih.com/
>
-- Olivier MJ Crepin-Leblond, Ph.D. |----> Global Information Highway Limited Phone: +44 (0)956 84 1113 | Always 60 seconds | E-mail: <mailto:ocl@gih.com> Fax : +44 (0)171 937 7666 | ahead of the past | Web: http://www.gih.com/